One night V.I.P.

The following days were normal. I met my friends, went shopping and messaged Yosuke, the drummer from the Bar. He invited me and Anna to his live because he was a support drummer for a rock’n roll band which wasn’t really famous. Well, I somehow liked him a lot those days and still wanted to date him, because I thought he was a nice guy. 

So I replied him that we’ll come and he even put us on the guest list. Woho! First-time on guest list! A big V.I.P. sign was pumped through my veins.  “Maybe this super perfect guy likes me”, I wondered while Anna and I were going down the stairs to the little concert hall. We expected a wild crowd and a lot of fangirls.

But actually it was almost empty. Maybe five girls were waiting in front of the stage. Unsure of what we should do, we went to the merchandise shop. Three guys were selling some pretty looking CDs there. “Hey, aren’t you that girl Yosuke talked about?”, the merchandise seller called me by my real name.  What a surprise! The merchandise salesmen knew me!  So Yosuke must have talked about me! Happy!

And another surprise: the three merchandise salesmen were the band! Let’s sum it up: I didn’t know the band but the band knew me. Does it make me famous? 

We talked with those nice guys for some minutes and they seemed really nice. I accidently told them that Anna and I were living in a love hotel. Well, I guess the last days confused me more than I thought. I corrected myself immediately. 

Then he came! In a tank top, he wore a cap, his hair was beauti- whatever! A TANK TOP!!!  Everyone knows the simple calculation: drummer + tank top = wet panty! The muscles! He came to me. He came straight to me. In a tank top!!!!

Suddenly the shy girl appeared again. He blew me some smoke in the face (at this time I found this pretty sexy, nowadays I would have kicked his ass, after I made a photo of his muscles!).
We just talked for a bit and he told me that he’s playing for the second band and then he disappeared.  But luckily more fans arrived.

The first band was average. When Yosukes band entered the stage, Anna and I rocked the crowd. The music was really better than expected and the next minutes were full of jumping and dancing. After the live, the band members came directly to us and asked us “how was it? How was it?”. We told them (like a proud mother) that they did a good job. Yosuke was happy. Unfortunately he told me that he had to go to another live later and he has to leave soon. The other band members invited us to the after-show party. We agreed to come, not knowing that we wouldn’t keep the promise.

Yosuke left and we listened to the third band…. exactly three minutes and then we left. The music was really awful.  

When we got out of the club, I saw Yosuke who was waiting at the traffic light. “Yo-su-ke-!”, I smiled and ran to him.

We told him that the last band was kinda shit, so we decided to go to a bar. (Now I’m reading a part of my diary where I just think: nooooo, I didn’t do this, right?! Right?! Well, I just pretend that it wasn’t me). Okay, suddenly a magical girl appeared and touched his muscles, saying “kakkoii” (handsome!). Then the magical girl disappeared and was never ever seen again. 

 I guess it was her. Whoever she is! She's looking like a muscles-touching-magical-girl!

Altogether we went to Shibuya by train and talked about different topics. Yosuke told us that he has a Jazz concert now and he wanted me to translate something on his T-Shirt: “I’m going to the Palace of Pêches”. Japanese T-Shirts. He remembered that we’re going to fly in two days and that he has to work tomorrow. An invitation to come?

Sleepless in a love hotel

Somehow I felt angry. It was the pressure on me. What would happen next? I didn’t know what to do, that’s why a small feeling of anger appeared. That was the reason why I answered on his “Oh I wonder if this XXX hotel is a love hotel”, with a pissed “Well, it has a hotel in the name? So I guess it is one!”

He decided that this would be a perfect place for us. For me, it was the first time entering this kind of hotel. My anger was blown away by curiosity. After the entrance hall a wall of screens welcomed us. No employee was there. The screens showed different rooms and with a control panel one could choose which room to take. “Which one do you want?”

I looked closely to the screens but I couldn’t concentrate: “You can choose”. After this he pressed some numbers and the screen turned black. So this room will be ours for tonight. “It’s expensive!”, I answered in wonder while looking at the price. “Actually, it’s pretty cheap”, he replied. Damn semi-rich hosts!

The room itself was elegant. I liked it. We talked about various stuff like computer games, my country, Japan, games and anime. We compared our favorite characters and laughed a lot. Like I said, my Japanese wasn’t so good back then. So the second awkward moment appeared. Right, this kind of situation, where I tend to say “yes” to everything. Really, really dangerous this time.

Ryu: “blablablaaaaa and so on with a lot of bla and bla”

I: “Hai?” (yes)

Ryu: “Blaaabllaaaablaaa really a lot of blaa. Sounding-like-a-question-bla?”

I: “Hai?”

Suddenly he bowed over to me and kissed me deeply. I didn’t move an inch. The time stood still. What was it? Damn! I should stop just saying “hai” all the time. Something started to burn inside me… ehm but before this becomes a pr0n-blog, I skip to the sleeping-time. J

After sleeping everyday on a futon, I was looking forward to sleep in such a soft huge bed. “Hyaaa, this would be a night full of sleep, peace and – wait? What is this? Why is there a party in our room? Wait… what? “

It wasn’t a party. It was his mobile phone which rang in such a loud volume that my ears were about to burst. I looked at him. He was still sleeping. “Maybe I can throw the mobile phone in the bathroom. But maybe this would wake him up and I can’t touch his things. Aaahhh~ it stopped!” I hoped to be able to sleep then. Well, I turned around to my sleeping side. He turned around and I could see his face. “He looks like an angel”, I stared at him for minutes, maybe hours. Actually, I wanted to get my mobile phone and take a photo of him but this would have been so freaky.

Third try to sleep: “Party again! That damn mobile phone!!!”

Fourth try: ”Btw, why did he let the lights on?! I just can sleep when it’s dark! UAAHH!”

Fifth try: “Why didn’t he turn the classical music off? I feel like in a concert!”

Sixth try (daylight touched my face): Ryu kicked me in his sleep. Nice.

Seventh try: “Okay, now! Woho, I’m almost sleeping, almost sleeping, sleeping, slee—aah!” Ryu put his arms on my body. When I tried to push them down, he grabbed my hand and held it tightly.

Retrospectively seen, I guess the kiss, his sleeping face, our same interests and this “holding hands”-thing touched my soul.

Early in the morning, the night ended. He woke up and got ready, told me to eat something (Onigiri at the morning. My stomach felt like vomiting. This was simply too heavy food for this time of the day).

Ryu got dressed and fixed his hair. His hairspray bottle was 3 times bigger than my self-defense-hairspray. I had to laugh. If there has been a fight, I would have lost.

We left the hotel and headed for the train station. He needed to pee. I’ve waited for him. When he returned, we walked the last meters to the station. “It was fun. Please, write me a message again”, he smiled at me. I nodded, but thought that I would never write him. I couldn’t allow myself to develop feelings. That’s why no contact was the better solution.

source: Hazuki Kanae's "Ai no Koe", edited by me

He went to his train. I walked back to the guesthouse.

There were only three days left in Japan. Anna kept on mailing with a nice guy. A part of me missed his mails. A part of me wanted to message him. I ignored these feelings.

"Yes"

The day started quite well. We went shopping in the fashion district Harajuku. My heart was suddenly full of dresses. What else does a girl need? Nothing! Right? Not a single thing!

But why did our feet moved towards Kabukichou when the night fell on the city? Maybe it was fairy dust? Or just the fact that I wrote Ryu that I want to meet him and tell him if this evening we're going to stay somewhere together or not.

My secret waterproof (haha) plan was to see him and decide whether I want to make the next step or not. My brain told me that I should dump him and my heart was on holidays in Hawaii. So I couldn’t ask it. Can't be helped.

I messaged him in front of the club. But he didn't come out, so I asked a Host who
was about to enter the club. "Could you tell Ryu that I'm here?" He said that he'll deliver my message to him and went into hell ehm.. the host club.

Anna suddenly grabbed my shoulder: "Did you recognize who it was?"
I: "Ehm? A palm-wearing host? Woho~ so special!"
Anna: "It was Tatsuya! The host you told "sayonara" before."
I: "Oh... you mean the host I told 'Hosts are evil, do something else. Rescue your soul?"
Anna: "Yep. "
I: "And now I'm standing here, asking him to get Ryu out of the club?"
Anna: "Yep."
I: "Oh..."

In this moment my brain sent me a "I'm right~ I am right~ So dump Ryu now"-message. Everything
was clear now, the path of my future, the next days! Woho! Yeah, I would free myself from
him. Easy-peasy! Ha!

Then Ryu entered the stage. This was the first time in my life that I had a "slow-motion"-
experience. It was really like he walked towards me in a romantic-movie-like way (with all the
glitter stuff. and sparkling. and music.). My brain suddenly seemed to be far away. Maybe it was visiting my heart in Hawaii? I don't know. Things started to go out of control. First my face. I blushed.

He said something.

I couldn't understand.

We sat down. Anna translated: "He said your face is blushing."
I looked away. When I tried to look at him again, my face was totally red.

source: Hazuki Kanae's "Ai no koe"text customized by me

What happened? After he apologized for being late, he told us that he has a client right now and told her to go out for smoking. We talked about something. I don't know about what. I forgot everything.
In my memories I can just remember how we sit there. How my body trembled. How I tried to reduce the redness of my face.

Then he asked: "Are we going to meet tonight?"
I answered with a 'yes'.

We returned to our guesthouse. He would mail me when he came to our station. Slowly I prepared myself. For some reason I wanted to be pretty. I wanted him to tell me that I’m beautiful.

He mailed me when I just finished the shower. Damn! Guys! I can’t look beautiful within 2 minutes! I needed to make my hairdo, my make up! I was pissed. Seriously. So I told Anna to message him that he should wait, I’m not finished.

I’ve put on my sneakers (for the case of feeling like wanting to run away) and hairspray (self defense!) and walked to the train station. To be honest, I don’t have much self-confident but I remember liking myself at that night.

Then I saw him. He looked awesome like always. With a smile that instantly killed me, he asked me if we should buy something to drink and to eat. I nodded (the only thing I was able to do) and so we went to the next convenience store. In front of the liquor, he looked for something. “What are you looking for?”, I asked. “Smirnoff. It’s your favorite, right?”, Ryu answered while looking straight into my eyes. “Damn, they haven’t any. Let’s search for it somewhere else.” Before we walked in another convenience story (in Japan these stores are EVERYWHERE), he grabbed my ass and smiled.

This pervert! Well, actually it was just teasing. Then he concentrated on his big task “finding Smirnoff for his date”. Unfortunately he couldn’t complete his task, so I chose another cocktail in a can and an onigiri. I wanted to pay my stuff but Ryu told me that he wants to do it and he has enough money.

With drinks and onigiris we went on the streets of Tokyo again. It was a quiet night. He asked me suddenly about my past and I told him a lot of stuff which I didn’t tell anyone before. Why? He was a stranger. Right? Then he said straight: “I don’t understand why those things happened in the past. You’re so beautiful.” It was not a lie. I felt it. I’m not stupid.