Somehow I felt angry. It was the pressure on me. What would happen next? I didn’t know what to do, that’s why a small feeling of anger appeared. That was the reason why I answered on his “Oh I wonder if this XXX hotel is a love hotel”, with a pissed “Well, it has a hotel in the name? So I guess it is one!”
He decided that this would be a perfect place for us. For me, it was the first time entering this kind of hotel. My anger was blown away by curiosity. After the entrance hall a wall of screens welcomed us. No employee was there. The screens showed different rooms and with a control panel one could choose which room to take. “Which one do you want?”
I looked closely to the screens but I couldn’t concentrate: “You can choose”. After this he pressed some numbers and the screen turned black. So this room will be ours for tonight. “It’s expensive!”, I answered in wonder while looking at the price. “Actually, it’s pretty cheap”, he replied. Damn semi-rich hosts!
The room itself was elegant. I liked it. We talked about various stuff like computer games, my country, Japan, games and anime. We compared our favorite characters and laughed a lot. Like I said, my Japanese wasn’t so good back then. So the second awkward moment appeared. Right, this kind of situation, where I tend to say “yes” to everything. Really, really dangerous this time.
Ryu: “blablablaaaaa and so on with a lot of bla and bla”
I: “Hai?” (yes)
Ryu: “Blaaabllaaaablaaa really a lot of blaa. Sounding-like-a-question-bla?”I: “Hai?”
Suddenly he bowed over to me and kissed me deeply. I didn’t move an inch. The time stood still. What was it? Damn! I should stop just saying “hai” all the time. Something started to burn inside me… ehm but before this becomes a pr0n-blog, I skip to the sleeping-time. J
After sleeping everyday on a futon, I was looking forward to sleep in such a soft huge bed. “Hyaaa, this would be a night full of sleep, peace and – wait? What is this? Why is there a party in our room? Wait… what? “
It wasn’t a party. It was his mobile phone which rang in such a loud volume that my ears were about to burst. I looked at him. He was still sleeping. “Maybe I can throw the mobile phone in the bathroom. But maybe this would wake him up and I can’t touch his things. Aaahhh~ it stopped!” I hoped to be able to sleep then. Well, I turned around to my sleeping side. He turned around and I could see his face. “He looks like an angel”, I stared at him for minutes, maybe hours. Actually, I wanted to get my mobile phone and take a photo of him but this would have been so freaky.
Third try to sleep: “Party again! That damn mobile phone!!!”
Fourth try: ”Btw, why did he let the lights on?! I just can sleep when it’s dark! UAAHH!”
Fifth try: “Why didn’t he turn the classical music off? I feel like in a concert!”
Sixth try (daylight touched my face): Ryu kicked me in his sleep. Nice.
Seventh try: “Okay, now! Woho, I’m almost sleeping, almost sleeping, sleeping, slee—aah!” Ryu put his arms on my body. When I tried to push them down, he grabbed my hand and held it tightly.
Retrospectively seen, I guess the kiss, his sleeping face, our same interests and this “holding hands”-thing touched my soul.
Early in the morning, the night ended. He woke up and got ready, told me to eat something (Onigiri at the morning. My stomach felt like vomiting. This was simply too heavy food for this time of the day).
Ryu got dressed and fixed his hair. His hairspray bottle was 3 times bigger than my self-defense-hairspray. I had to laugh. If there has been a fight, I would have lost.
We left the hotel and headed for the train station. He needed to pee. I’ve waited for him. When he returned, we walked the last meters to the station. “It was fun. Please, write me a message again”, he smiled at me. I nodded, but thought that I would never write him. I couldn’t allow myself to develop feelings. That’s why no contact was the better solution.
source: Hazuki Kanae's "Ai no Koe", edited by me
He went to his train. I walked back to the guesthouse.
There were only three days left in Japan. Anna kept on mailing with a nice guy. A part of me missed his mails. A part of me wanted to message him. I ignored these feelings.
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