No reply

I wanted to meet him again. Unfortunately he didn’t take a vacation, that’s why he was busy with work. Damn you, Japanese work! Why do you keep handsome men so busy?!  Well, it was still time before I had to leave Japan and Hiro wrote me a mail full of enthusiasm: “If we’re able to meet again, I will pick you up! I’m sorry that I didn’t take a vacation.” It should work out for us, I thought…

 

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The days flew past and I found myself sitting in a train. I typed my last message for him before I arrived at the airport. Honestly-spoken, I forgot what this message was about but I know that I’ve told him my skype address and the fact that I like him very much. 

But somehow things got strange. Even when I arrived home, there was no message from him. I thought it was my entire fault somehow (though I didn’t know why). That’s why I decided to write him a message on Ameblo. This mail contained a lot of questions and assumptions, as “Do you just want to misuse me? Do you hate me? Just tell me straight, so I can move on!” After sending this message, I went to an anime event. Though there was still this bittersweet feeling, I could enjoy the time with my friends and decided to stop thinking about Hiro.

But well, none of my plans worked out so far… neither this one. As soon as I returned home, I decided to skype with Liz. But there was a friends request from someone who I didn’t know.

This friends request said “Hi! This is Hiro! Sorry for the late reply.” I immediately fell from my chair.  And it got even better! As soon as I accepted his friends request, he sent me a link to his Nico Nico Douga show. I clicked on it without thinking how dangerous this link actually was.

And of course something happened: my slip smashed with supersonic speed right through my window! Oh god, he was so hot! Aaaahhhh! Didn’t I want to forget him? Ah, fuck it! 

Suddenly he started speaking with his deep voice (I slipped off my chair): “Are you watching?” Gosh! Of course  I was watching! And I was happy no one was watching me! After I typed a „yes“, he continued: „I’m sorry about blablablablabla, I’m sorry about this too, I’m sorry about being so fucking awesome and hot!“ Okay, I made up the last part… because I just was able understand “gomen nasai” (I’m sorry) all the time but I didn’t understood about what he was apologizing. I was simply too busy with drooling. Well, I think he was apologizing about the whole Japan situation. It was really nice of him. But nevertheless, I decided to reduce the contact with him. I had to concentrate on my university stuff… 

source: Hazuki Kanae's "Ai no Koe", edited by me

I felt happy with my life. Of course I hoped to see him again and I actually planned to fly to Japan during my March holidays but I had’nt enough money for this. 

When life starts to become nice, you always know that something terrible is about to happen. In this case: A tsunami came.

I still remember the day like it was yesterday. My mum woke me up early and told me that there was a tsunami in Japan. “There are a lot of tsunamis”, I thought but I decided to follow my mum to the living room. The TV was switched on. There were rice fields. Hiro’s family also lived surrounded by rice fields.

 A huge wave came and washed everything away. 

My mum told me something. I couldn’t hear it. 

I starred at the news. 

There was no hint from which area this footage came. A lot of people have died. I ran into my room, looked for my mobile phone and wrote a message to Hiro: “A big tsunami came to Japan. Are you okay?” 

He wasn’t online.

I couldn’t do anything but wait.